In the war against Cancer

I want to apologize for the scarcity of posts recently.  It has been a year of battles, challenges & determination to return to a life of, not only surviving, but of thriving.  The war is tiring but I have discovered that I am a Warrior … and I will stop this when I have either won the war … or it is over … one way or the other.

In the war against a rare form of bone marrow cancer many of my bones … including 4 in my  back … became very fragile  and broke under the ongoing pressure of battle. OUCH!  Good News! … They have been repaired and have returned to their regular job of supporting my walk through life.  Hooray!!

The Chemotherapy portion of the war is successfully continuing and at the end of September I will be having a Hard Reboot on my internal computer … getting everything in my bone marrow reprogrammed.  This will come in the form of a Stem Cell Transplant with my own stem cells. Modern medical technology is truly amazing!

So … I will do my best to stay in touch … provide updates and comments during the upcoming portion of the journey … and share Perky Polly, Sunshine Sue and Life’s abundant, positive input to everything.  FYI: … As this process is pretty tiring we may be sharing all of this in the form of Positive Posters with minimal, additional Susanne comments.  Many thanks for your ongoing support and well wishes … The Girls and I really appreciate it AND you!

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone 

Susanne 

 

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Separation is a lie.

We came here to experience a world where separation seems to be; not only a possibility, but also a reality. We’re here to prove that story incorrect.” … Susanne

We only have to look around to see concrete evidence that; here on good old Planet Earth, everything and everyone is separate from everything and everyone else. We all walk around in discrete little packages called bodies. Everything that we touch, taste smell and hear originates from separate sources. So … what’s with this “We’re really all One thing?”

I think that it all comes down to a belief ~for some … a knowing for others … that everything that what we experience here in the material world started somewhere else … and further … that, that somewhere else is in the immaterial. So … whether we think of that “other place” as our own thoughts or some other worldly Being … eventually most of us come to realize that our world is created within us long before we see it around us. “Notes From the Universe” says that “Thoughts become things.” and I think that, that is where we have to look when we decide that we want to a) change our world and b) figure out why it is the way that it is.

There comes a point in every being’s life when they have a decision to make. We all eventually come to the place-of-choice when we look long and hard at where we are, what we want to happen and … finger pointing aside … why things are the way they are.  From there we make a choice. The choice is both a simple one and a hard one. It is as simple as “What do I want more – to hold onto the past and the illusions of separateness – or to free myself and move into a new and different way of living?” We all came here to experience a world where separation seems to be a reality. Now the question is: “How will I prove that story to be incorrect?”

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

two hands to help

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Happiness – the silver lining of my Heart

“True and lasting happiness doesn’t come from the amount of stuff we have or the social circle we belong to. It arises from and dwells within our Heart” … Susanne

All things considered I’m pretty blessed. Yes, I broke my back in four places this Spring … but I had the top of the field fix all the breaks and promise to handle any further little blips in the Spinal Column Continuum. Yes, it’s true that I’m not in remission at the moment and I’m on chemotherapy … but the good news is that the cancer markers are steadily decreasing and my oncologist has plans to pop me back into remission this Fall. So … it seems to me that inside each of my stormy clouds is a decidedly, silver lining.

I admit that sometimes it’s challenging to see the silver that’s hiding in there. And I have to admit that sometimes it requires me to dig deep, muster up my courage, grab ahold of The Girls and my beautiful Heart and fight one more time for my dreams. But it’s worth the effort.  It’s always worth the effort!
Capital “L” Life says that Perky Polly and I are so consistently positive, chipper and faithful that it’s impossible for It to not share Its abundance with us. It says that our happy Heart shines so brightly … even through the challenging times … that we have become a magnet for even more happiness! I like that. It reminds me that while outside-goodies may make my life easier it’s really my joyful Heart that is vibing in a happy life that works

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

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Let yesterday go. Get your happy on!

“Fear is a like a cloud that blocks the light of your beautiful Heart. Be like the wind. Blow fear away. Create a new tomorrow.” … Susanne 

Happy New Week Everyone!

I am happy. Is my world perfect? Is it always fear-free?  No it’s not … but every day is better than the one before and today I able to do so much more than I could 4 weeks ago that I am definitely happy!  The world around me & my physical circumstances are all conspiring to remind me that I create the life I want from within me first … and then I see it reflected outside of me. I am very happy with my new creations.

The Girls and I wish for you:

Clear dreams,

Easeful releasing of old pain,

Joyful Ah-ha moments, & …

New worldly reflections.

May your week bring you closer to living your dreams, hopes and wishes and may your eyes and hearts be open to the signs of Life’s awesome ability to hear and respond to your Hearts songs and requests.

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

  

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Trust in the process 

“It isn’t always easy to look past what is happening in our worlds … to see the “Whatisness” ~the Truth of each situation … and to remember that the drivers and motivations of which we are unawares are navigating us to a brighter tomorrow.” … Susanne

Sometimes … maybe often … we become lost in the overwhelming nature of the moment.  Sometimes illness sneaks up on us and/or those we love.  At other times it’s the emotional storms of life that broadside us … and sometimes it’s those underlying drivers that steer us onto paths that our conscious mind would never choose.  No matter what, how or why … these are the times when it’s most important to hang on tight to hopes and dreams and find ways to soldier on.

As Marilyn Monroe once said: “Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together.”  Over the last few months Miss Perky has been reminding me of the this potential for “something better” … despite how circumstances look … and of how Capital “L” Life has given us  the gift of being a Phoenix.  And she’s right.  We’ve been remade … found happier roads to travel … and been reborn from the ashes of our old life so many times that we’ve lost count.  So … while times may be pretty challenging at the moment I’m choosing to believe that’s even though I don’t see the how’s of it … and I don’t understand the whys of this journey … I’m actually being directed to a much greater happiness.

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone 

Susanne

  

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Create a new life. Tell yourself a new story.

“The stories that we consistently tell ourselves become the life that we live. So … if you’re going to tell yourself stories about how things are or will be you might as well make them the best possible.” … Susanne

We have forgotten that we are powerful souls who have the ability to create our world. Ultimately it doesn’t matter who the major contributors to our forgetful nature were.  It doesn’t matter whether the ongoing reinforcers of our deluded state are the governments who rule us, the religious bodies who fear us or Authority Figures who simply want a quiet day filled with obedience … because at the end of the day the only one whose opinion really matters is ourselves.

I get that it’s hard to buck the “What will everyone think?” trend but realistically what other option do we have if we want to live happy lives?  I know from my own life that I had to find a way to be comfortable dancing outside the box or I had to resign myself to living a life that was filled with everyone else’s beliefs and expectations. Even without Miss Perky’s input that last one is a Yuck for me!
Recently I found myself repeating the medical community’s opinions about my health as though they were gospel … things like: “My bones are very fragile.” and “I just have to be really careful.” I realized that neither of these … nor the whole “Oh poor, fragile me.” line of thinking was where I want to live. So … I’m telling a new story this week. I’m going to tell the story of strong and healthy bones. I’m going to reinforce that Life always takes good care of me and I’m going to carry an Expectation of Ease. I like those stories and I’m going to stick with them!  

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

   

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Let it go.

No-one is suggesting that the lessons of the past aren’t important. It’s the dragging around of the emotional triggers and “Oh poor me” attitude that is the real destroyer of lives.” … Susanne

Everybody has had times in their lives when the proverbial s#%t has hit their fans. Granted some people’s receiving has been a lot more intense or frequent than others … but regardless of the intensity, frequency or duration … we’ve all been there. As with everything else in life how we handle the backlog is always our choice … and it’s that handling ~or not … that determines how each of our Nows and our tomorrows will be.

This Spring … as I was spending time in the hospital, getting my back fixed and relearning how to walk … people would ask me: “How can you be so happy all the time?” My answer was  … as it always is … a variation of: “Well I have a choice. I can choose to drag my poor, sorry behind through these challenges; kicking and screaming the whole way and feel horrible … or I can be the most optimistically-leaning person that I can be.  And guess which one makes me feel better!??!”

Of course I have down times … everybody does … but The Girls are always quick to remind me that hugging yesterday’s pain and unhappiness isn’t going to make today feel any better. In fact; it’s only going to weigh us down, smudge up Ms. Sunshine’s Happiness-Finding glasses and drain our energy away from creating The Good Stuff into propping up the Been-there-done-that-no-thanks memories.  So … we’re working on identifying any missed lessons and we’re giving the rest of the old, unpleasant  stuff away to the Universal Recycling Centre. We’re intending that our days of kicking dead horses are over … leaving us wide open to creating a vibrant tomorrow.

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

  

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It’s a new day. Time to go Joy hunting.

Each morning rise up, start fresh and see the opportunity in each new day.” … Unknown

One thing that battling life threatening illness does is to shine a spotlight on the blessing of awakening each day. I think that most of us take that for granted and it’s only when something big comes along to shake us out of our complacent dreams that we open our eyes … give our collective heads a shake … and remember how precious life is.

Ms. Sunshine says that it’s easy to see the BIG things … she doesn’t even need to design any eyewear for those ones … it’s the small, often overlooked joys that she thinks we need to keep an eagle eye open for. Miss Polly thinks that everyone is missing the day-to-day goodies because they’re all looking for the Big Fireworks kind of opportunities. Capital “L” Life confided that one of the reasons that Miss P is always so perky is that she’s always finding reasons to fall in love with everyday life.

So … The Girls and I have decided that this week we are going to indulge in a huge, appreciation fest. We’re going to fall in love with and be grateful for everything from sunny days to being able to stand up again. Ms. Sunshine has outfitted all of us with “Appreciation Goggles” and Polly has designed a series of games and contests to see who can not only find the most joyful opportunities but also who is willing to let them in. I feel a fun and exciting week coming on. Got to run now … I think I see some joy peeking around the corner.

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

  

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What would you do if you knew that challenges really were your best friend?

“What if you knew that everything & everyone that you held in judgment were really your greatest opportunities to learn & grow. What would you do? ... Susanne

It’s easy to get complacent. It’s even easier to assume that the way that we’re used to thinking and doing things is the “right” way. And with governments and religious groups shouting out their opinions as if they were a personal memorandum from God it’s often hard to stop viewing other people and their ideas as anything other than “wrong”.

But what if they’re not wrong? Oh I don’t mean that we should all run out and embrace murdering psychopaths … but what if instead of being “wrong” different opinions and outlooks were simply that … different.   What if … instead of getting our knickers in a knot whenever someone didn’t agree with us … we took the time to do a little internal investigation to learn more about ourselves?

I learned a lot during my 6 week stay in the hospital. Being an avid People Watcher … and with very little else to do other than physiotherapy … I had many opportunities to observe the different sides to each situation. Times when my judgments and I were sure that we knew exactly what was going on and who was right vs who was wrong almost always got steamrolled under the Truth.   I learned to pause and observe what was really going on rather than jumping to conclusions … and that was one of the most valuable lessons that I could have gained. If challenging people and circumstances hold the greatest opportunities for me to “learn to learn” then it behooves me to sit up, pay attention and grow.  And I intend to take full advantage of each and every opportunity that comes my way.

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone

Susanne

  

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Let the good times roll 

It’s easy to find things to complain about. The question is are you willing to put in the effort to find things to enjoy?” … Susanne

As today’s quote states: “It’s easy to find things to complain about.”  The news is full of less-than-uplifting events … our personal lives are all too often cluttered with both past and present emotional debris and the advertising world is constantly trying to convince us that our lives will be incomplete if we don’t look, smell and sound like a super-model.  So … where are we supposed to find the Happiness that we’re all longing for … but which seems to elude us so readily?

Shortly before my recent, big trek through Back Surgery Land Miss Perky, Ms. Sunshine and I began working out at the Celestial Gym – Emotional Cleanup Section. It all started when Capital “L” Life very politely pointed out to us how completely out of shape our Non-Judgement and Enjoying-life muscles had become.  Needless to say we were all horribly embarrassed … and after very minimal discussion we all agreed that some serious Personal Training was in order.

Our new CPT (Celestial Personal Trainer) has us doing an hour every day of intense Joy-searching Aerobics, followed up by a half hour of Judgment-Release stretches and ending with a relaxing Envision-Good-News-Arriving-Now Meditation.  Our mandatory dress code includes brightly coloured workout clothes, happy attitudes … and of course … Big Smiles!  Life seems really pleased.  It says that we’re all so committed to being Joyful that now when good things arrive we’ll actually be in shape to receive them.  Whoo Hoo … Let the good times roll!

Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone 

Susanne

 

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