Whom can I REALLY change?

“God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.”   …   Unknown    

Everyone is busy running around trying to change things; some people want to change the world, some of them only want to change their partner, others want to change the annoying people at their work whilst still others want to change their life circumstances and find a job. Why is it that no-one is happy and that everyone wants to point a finger outwards?

I think that we’ve all run into people for whom their life’s woes are always someone else’s fault.  You know the ones I mean; they’re the ones complaining by the water cooler about the unfairness of someone else’s promotion, or the belligerent ones who take their frustrations out on innocent people around them and then claim that “They started it.”  These people haven’t got it that until they start looking in the mirror and pointing their finger at the person whom they see there, nothing is going to change for them.

A dear friend is the one who started our circle of friends on the path of being aware that if one of your fingers is pointing outward then three more are pointing back towards you – go ahead – try it – you’ll see what she means.  That lesson certainly changed my perspective on things.  Never again could I look out and with self-righteous indignation and state definitively that what was going on wasn’t MY fault.  What I have discovered is that even if the circumstances around me have been instigated by someone else, if I don’t like where I find myself or if I am being triggered by events then it behooves me to have a good, hard, long look at myself to see, not only what I can learn from what’s happening around me but also what is hiding inside of me that issued the invitation to participate in said unpleasant circumstances.

Slowly over the years I have come to understand and to really, truly accept that I can change no-one: no-one that is but myself.  If I don’t like someone’s behaviours I have a couple of options open to me; I can talk to them and see if they would like to alter said behaviours, I can walk away or I can just accept them the way that they are, gather up my courage and find ways to heal up the triggers that I have inside of me – wounded remnants of wars and battles long over.  Finally, after all is said and done, I can thank them – either in words or simply in my heart, for providing me with an opportunity to increase my self-awareness.

This week take a look at the people who are in your life.  Can you accept them just as they are or do you think they would be great if only ….?  If you think that they need a little tweaking march yourself right into the nearest washroom, look in the mirror and introduce yourself to the only person whom you can and should be changing.  Start your change by writing lists of other’s annoying tendencies and then ask yourself: “How can I eliminate these characteristics from me first?”  Give thanks for the beautiful mirrors in your life whose gift to you is illumination & clarity,

Godspeed and Safe Journeying Everyone



About embracingchoice

Motivational Speaker, Author, Tweeter & Blogger (lovin' it!!) ... Owner & Leader of The Compassionate Advantage (http://www.compassionate-advantage.com)
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