“Even in the darkest phase, be it thick or thin, always someone marches brave, here beneath my skin.” … K.D. Lang
I used to think that brave people never felt afraid. I used to think that if I were a brave person that I would be able to walk through anything and always know just the right thing to say or do. Wow was I mistaken! As it turns out “here beneath my skin” I really do have courage – it just doesn’t look like I thought it would. This last eight weeks have taught me that I have the courage to keep on waking up each morning, paying attention to the positive (even if it’s really tiny!), moving forward a step at a time and, as they used to say in the sixties, “keep on – keepin’ on”.
The days of darkness have finally passed. The storms of uncertainty and fear have moved out of my life. And the scary thoughts of giving up have gone the way of the dodo bird. The soul who was buried way-down, deep inside, who hid herself from the pain and the world has managed to bubble back up to the surface and together, she and I are figuring out how to take ourselves out into the world again. Every morning I awaken and find that the rising sun has returned a little more of “Me” and that the fading night has taken with it more and more of the fearful and discouraged state that had taken up temporary residence in my body.
I watched the sun rise this morning and realized how grateful I am to be able to wake up each morning and have the freedom to make choices. Today I am making choices to be capital “M” Me! Today I am going to do my best to walk around actually being the brave person who has been living inside here all along. Maybe I’ll be able to string together a lot of “brave” days … or maybe I’ll only be able to manage a few at a time … either way I’m going to be better off than I was before. My newly found inner courage and I are getting very excited about skipping and dancing ourselves out into the world. It will be interesting to see where we end up!
Godspeed and Joyful Journeying