“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” … Carlos Castaneda
If my life has taught me nothing else it has taught me this: you can either appreciate what you have and find a way through whatever is going on or you can wallow in the circumstances and make yourself even more miserable. Some days it’s harder to find anything positive to be sunny about than other times. Sometimes the dark days are just darn dark! However, I’ve learned … when the lightless days show up … to ask myself (sometimes MANY times) …how do I really want to feel and how do I want my life to be?
The last 10 weeks were really challenging and they definitely took their toll … on both me … and the people who associate with me. Friends worried, family fussed and I wondered. I wondered if I was going to make it … and I wondered if I still wanted to make it. It was one of those times of very little light, lots of observing and MANY, MANY questions. The good news is that my answers didn’t waiver. At the deepest levels I realized that, yes, I truly did want to keep on waking up here (although some days it was harder to believe that I would!) and I always believed that if I just kept paying attention to the small things that were going right then eventually they would accumulate into a pile that was high enough that it would blot out the darkness with their light. Good news! It worked!
I’ve always been a really “Perky Polly” type personality. So, it was very challenging for me to temporarily lose touch with that part of myself. But you know what? It gave me a really good insight into how challenging life must be for people who aren’t positive by nature, who don’t feel a solid connection to the Universe and who aren’t able to just pick themselves up and dust themselves off. Life gave me a lesson in Understanding – the capital “U” variety. Now, not only am I able to agree with Carlos Castaneda in theory but I am also able to truly understand why everyone is not leaping on the “happy bandwagon” as quickly as I used think that they should. I re-learned that my focus determines how my day goes, how my life flows (or doesn’t) and how each moment shines or dims. My focus is determined by no-one else but me. And so, if I want to, not only get through the tough times, but also really end up thriving, then I have to find ways to keep Perky Polly alive and contributing. You know, I like Polly … she makes my days brighter and my insides feel happier … I think I’m going to keep her!
Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone!