“We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” … Charles R. Swindoll
I have often wished that some significant other person: in some significant situation; making often very significant comments would change what they were doing, saying or thinking. Needless to say that seldom happened! Sometimes the hurt would stick – making me difficult to get along with and unhappy inside. But fortunately, for me AND for everyone else around me, I started to become more duck-like … in other words … I started to let their comments roll off of me like water off a duck’s back. Wow … that felt better!
One good thing about journeying through a couple of major illnesses is that it gave me the time to become an even better people watcher and way more truly observant and understanding of the drivers beneath their surfaces. And whilst their behaviours and lack of return empathy often still sadden me I find myself in the great position of being able to choose whether I will hold onto said sadness and let it lead me down “The Path of Grumpiness” or whether I will clutch my understanding of them to my heart, wish them well and move on.
It’s easy to harden our hearts against those whose behaviour is less than sterling. I do my best not to take that easy road. However, like most people, sometimes I find myself on a runaway, emotional freight train whose destination is going to take me nowhere that I choose to go and whose very presence is going to cause untold amounts of damage along the way that I would just as soon avoid. I have learned to ask myself the hard question; that being: “How is me behaving badly going to make this situation better?” … And I find that the answer is pretty much always … “It isn’t!!” … So then I have ask myself: “So why go there!??!”
It seems to me that capital “U” understanding is the key. If I take the time to Understand the significant other who stands before me then I don’t need to make my one attitude string play out of tune, I don’t have to be defensive and I really don’t need to be lashing out or jumping on the Emotional Bandwagon. Understanding reminds me that everyone here is doing their best … even if it doesn’t seem that way to me. And that gives me the space to then remind myself that if Life carried an intolerant attitude towards me … well … let’s just say that I probably wouldn’t feel half as supported and nurtured as I do! So … I’ve decided to adopt Life as my “Attitude-Role-Model”. I may not always hit the mark … but at least I’ve got a positive mark to aim for! Perky Polly & I are heading out to dog Life’s heels and see if we can pick up some life-enhancing tips … feel free to come along … we always love travelling with new friends.
Arinaste! (from my heart to your heart)