“You’re never too old, it’s never too late, and the mistake is never too big.” … Joel Osteen
When referring to messy circumstances within both her own and other people’s lives my mother used to say with great resignation and numerous sighs: “There’s a lot of water gone under that bridge.” I used to wonder what she meant by that as the thought of the river/water flowing endlessly onward seemed like a good thing to me. It is only now that I have watched a lot of said water flow under my own “bridge” that I get it.
Like many people I have endured long days of insecurity and their ensuing defensive and offensive results. I have wandered far and feigned bravery when all I really wanted was to crawl into a hole and hide and I have made mistakes. But … unlike my mom … I don’t believe that all those watery mistakes need to mean that I am beyond redemption and that there is just nothing to be done but to park on aforementioned bridge and wait for my years to run out.
You see one of the big things that I learned throughout my illness was that speaking from my heart was a good thing. There were times when I didn’t know if tomorrow would come or what it would look like if it did so bit-by-bit I moved into a way of being in the world wherein I allowed myself to a) forgive pretty much everybody for their nonsense, b) forgive myself for my own overreactions and c) just be Me … 24-7-365.
It isn’t always easy to be Me. Some days the stuff that hasn’t been scraped off of the pavement of the inner landscape yet trips me up and I am sorely tempted to snap at all and sundry. Fortunately sanity, the Celestial Clean-Up Crew and Perky Polly tend to prevail and I get to not repeat old mistakes but instead explore my new way of thinking, feeling and acting. As I never really enjoyed walking around with a hair-trigger defense system anyway I find that Miss Perky and I are usually in complete agreement about the right and proper use of liberal doses of “Perk”. After all of these years and despite all of the water that has flowed under my bridge I am happy to report that Miss Perky and I agree with Joel Osteen. “You are never too old, it’s never too late and no mistake is ever too big.”
Godspeed and Joyful Journeying Everyone